The Nature of Reality

Perhaps all the angst in the world today is just a reflection of our inner turmoil.  Physics teaches that time is an illusion, that all things happen in the 'eternal' now. In the lost books of the Bible, specifically the Gospel of Thomas, he quotes Jesus as saying, "Split a piece of wood and I am there."  

You can take that to mean:  

1. Open a book and I am there.

2. Pick up a rock and I am there.  

In other words, he's everywhere.  

Next, I pondered the saying, "The Kingdom of God lies within," and I wondered, is it possible that creation is an outward expression of our inner being?  

In book two of Gemini Rising, Kate is not only on a spiritual quest, but also one of self-knowledge. Her persona becomes fully fleshed, her opinions strengthened by conflict.

It was this quest, that made me wonder about each of our individual journeys.   It is said that underneath it all lies love. For six or more years I have struggled with a situation that had left me feeling bitter. This bitterness required immense amounts of energy, though I didn't know it at the time. It was just something I carried with me on a daily basis.  

At church last week, we studied the nature of forgiveness. Six years ago, I experienced a situation in which I wanted to forgive, NEEDED to forgive, several people but I just didn't know how.

On Monday, while driving home from work, I realized that these people to whom I harbored such grief and sadness, I had loved with every fiber of my being. Problem was, they didn't love me back. I don't know if it was jealousy, spitefulness, or fear, but whatever it was, it created a void too large for me to cross. I'd never experienced a situation like that and didn't know what to do.

So, I let my bitterness take root and grow until the vines became rooted in my soul.   Once I became aware that I loved these people, all my bitterness and anger vanished and I was left with a feeling that well, positively glowed. I decided to give it a couple of days to see if it was real, and I'm still alight with this newly discovered emotion.   I hope that one day I will be able to tell these people how much they meant to me. So if you are reading this, please share it with the others.  

It has been made abundantly clear to me that any anger or bitterness you carry around with you DAMAGES you physically as well as spiritually. I'm a little irritated that it took me six years to figure it out, but I guess it's better than never.  

Sometimes, when it comes to emotions, I'm a little slow...