The turkey is not a pretty bird. I know because I live with them. They reside in my backyard with my herd of deer. My husband and I do not hunt so we will not be having wild turkey with dinner unless you are talking bourbon. Why anyone would want to eat a wild turkey is beyond me. They eat bugs. Yet, I feel guilty eating a ranch turkey. Well, that's my problem not yours. As my daughter says, "Not my circus, not my monkey."
I am not a great cook. I am a basic cooker. I wash the turkey and throw it into the oven and let that baby bake. However, over the years I have learned a few cooking tips most of them from my father-in-law before he passed and my son-in-law who finally gave up cooking my Thanksgiving bird and handed the baton off to me. My son-in-law and daughter won't be with us this year. I hope they know how much this entire responsibility intimidates me. I can't get my husband to take part, he claims the damn thing will bite him. The Rules (Even if you buy a Butterball) 1. Make a list and send your husband to the store. Never go yourself. You will be too tired to cook. Make sure you add some Bailey's Irish Cream to the list so you can sip and dance while cooking. After all, since it's just the one other son and family you can make a fool of yourself. 2. After he returns take the Bailey's and put it into a glass with chunks of ice and begin to sip. Put on a Christmas CD. Yes, I know it's early, but so what. Take the (fresh not frozen) turkey, wash it, cut little slits in the skin and insert real butter then put it into he refrigerator until Thanksgiving morning. Make sure you don't drip turkey juice onto other food. Turkey juice can be toxic. Have another drink. 3. Thanksgiving morning, once you have a few cups of coffee with Bailey's in you, rub the turkey skin with butter and garlic then salt and pepper. Put an onion inside the turkey and shove it into the oven to bake at 325. Seriously, it is easy. Do not stuff the turkey and figure for a 12-18 pound turkey to cook for about 3 3/4 to 4 1/2 hours. Have a thermometer ready. (This is something I always forget.) The turkey should be done when the thermometer reads 165'F. And that is AFTER you stick it into the turkey. After you take the turkey out of the oven forget about it for 30 minutes. It needs to rest as it's been through a lot. It is afternoon and certainly OK to have a Bailey's over the rocks. 5. Stove Top Stuffing: For years I made my own stuffing until my son-in-law asked me why I didn't use Stove Top. Somewhere along the line I thought the stuffing for a Thanksgiving dinner had to be made from scratch. It doesn't, so feel free to use Stove Top. Plus you can make it the day before and have it ready to go on Thursday making the day even easier. Pour another drink. 6. Green bean casserole: One package frozen green beans (large), a can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup and frozen onion rings. Put the beans into the cooking dish, toss some soup with the beans to desired mushy consistency then throw the frozen onion rings on top. Cook until hot and bubbly and serve. This is not rocket science. For added dimension nuke some bacon and crumble it onto the top. Do not use the dog's Beggin Strips. They are doggie treats not for the casserole. Perhaps you've had too much Bailey's. 7. Mashed potatoes: Cut 'em, throw them into the pot, watch them boil and they are done when you can stick a fork easily into them. At this point, grab your husband and take a twirl around the kitchen. If you are still drinking, do not spill a drop. Bailey's is expensive. Your dinner is about done. Take the potatoes, throw out the water, put them into a bowl with a cube of butter, salt and pepper, and garlic, mash to desired consistency. Cut the turkey and serve. Ta-Da! And that is my recipe for and easy at home Thanksgiving dinner. Enjoy! Comments are closed.
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