Pondering Life

Before Kate Lutter's new book comes out tomorrow I thought I'd share with you how I spent my week.

I found myself reconnecting with old friends and discovering people who I thought were friends, were not.

That's a tough thing to find out when you're my age. I shouldn't be surprised because sometimes friends just fade away. If I haven't learned that by now, I deserve everything I get. Sometimes people  come into your life for a season and like all seasons they change into new ones complete with new friends.

But--sometimes it's hard letting go even when you know you should. 

See, that's the thing. I hate loss. My dad died when I was five. (By way of an explanation) While looking at our high school reunion pictures on Facebook, I saw people that I haven't seen in years and it brought back so many memories. Almost all of them good.

My daughter-in-law told me that once you become a writer--some friends might see you differently. Suddenly, you're not the same person you were--you're different. They don't like you that way--they want you back the way you were--before.

She suggested that by posting my books or even having a website, some people may think you're bragging. Most people don't understand that it is expected of you to do so. In other words, you have to.

Since my daughter-in-law and I talked, I've spoken with other novelist friends about this same issue. It is one each of them has faced. The very people you expect to support you--don't.

How sad is that?

On the other hand--here's some humor.

My granddaughter was up visiting a couple of weeks ago. I was in the bathroom putting on liquid face make-up when she walked in.

"Whatcha doing, Gramma?"

Big blue eyes stared up at me, curiosity in their depths. The last time she'd visited I put on this cute black dress with white spots. She'd told me how pretty I looked. (You gotta love them!)

"What do you think I'm doing?"  I ask, never expecting the answer that comes from her mouth.

"Covering up the spots?"

Now that's funny!

So last night I'm playing Sorry with the grandkids. Joshua is intent on destroying me, his brother Dylan anxiously waiting for his turn. I'm in pain from a slipped disc and have a little Vicodin in my system.

Suddenly, Joshua moves his last man home.

I look up--Dylan is sitting on the table, his thumbs in his ears. (He's just four.)

"What are you dong?" I ask.

All of a sudden he starts wiggling his fingers and yelling, "Neener, neener, neener!"  (OK, so he learned that from me.) Dark Eurasian eyes are alight with joy as his brother crushes his grandmother's march to victory.

I mean--who needs friends when you've got grandkids to play with!

Tomorrow, Kate Lutter's new book is released. Congratulations, Kate!

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