My Strange Inheritance: Walking Blind with Bella #glaucoma #cancer #strangeinheritance

For newbie readers, Bella and Aggie are my inheritance from a friend who passed away from heart disease. Bella is my black lab and Agatha Christie is my Fox Terrier. Bella has glaucoma and Aggie asthma. Both dogs require tons of care. 

Last week we learned Bella had liver cancer and while we are waiting on the biopsies of her spleen and other areas, she recovers from major surgery. Bella has over 100 stitches and the count was done by using how many stitches were in one inch and then measuring her incision and other areas that had to be opened. The first fatty tumor had wrapped itself around her stomach and spleen while the other tumor was cancerous and was attached to her liver. We knew Bella had a fatty tumor but the myriad vets we'd seen advised not to remove it because another eye surgery might have to be done post haste. No one found the cancerous tumor until last week. 

Needless to say this has been a very scary time for us pet parents, but we committed ourselves to these two dogs and so we move forward. Bella has had one eye removed already due to glaucoma and during this surgery Bella lost her other eye. So now we not only have a dog recovering from surgery we have one that woke up totally blind. 

Discovering Bella no longer had sight and had cancer was traumatizing. Bella is a self sufficient animal that has been reduced to utter dependence on her humans. This breaks my heart so, yesterday began the first day of command training so she can get to know her area and eventually learn to navigate on her own.  

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The fentanyl patch has been off for over 24 hours. Bella is sleeping peacefully now with little whining, however she cannot stand to be alone. Every now and again she will lift her head, begin to whine which at that point we speak to let her know she is not alone and she immediately quiets down. We mapped out the house in rugs so she can roam the living room to the kitchen to down the hallway to our bedroom. We have blocked access to the yard and apartment downstairs until, if, and or when she is able to navigate them. We have also closed the doors to the two bedrooms upstairs so she won't get lost. 

Bella knows the commands watch, this way, and today we added stop. 

Today we also added a short walk. I have to admit I cried, again. Aggie now takes the lead and not Bella. Bella made it half a block down and back which is awesome. I am going to take her for a ride in the car a little later today. Only time will tell if the right call was made to do surgery, but I am hopeful. 

From a personal perspective, I think Bella has the guts to make it. Yet, there is a part that feels horrible for her. A woman stopped me and asked me why I let her live after losing her sight. I tried to explain it was during surgery and we had no idea, but I just didn't have the energy to complete the explanation. This is the second time in as many days that people have asked me that question. 

Putting a dog down is an intensely personal decision. In Bella's case the vet felt that she had a chance and I've read enough sites that tell me she can live a full life being blind. It isn't like we didn't know that blindness might be in her future so we had somewhat prepared for that eventuality. So, if you are passing judgement on someone for keeping their dog alive when death might have been preferable to you. Just keep your damn mouth shut. OK?