I want to slow down.
I spend so much time being busy I have forgotten how to just be. I used to love being alone. A beautiful peace would surround me and my imagination would soar. Now even my alone time is filled with what ifs and should dos. Then I get on my phone, play games, chat with friends, and putter around doing busy things instead of writerly things. For the past week I have been working hard on my emotions. Two weeks ago I had a breast cancer scare. My mom and sister had it so why not me. And then I have Crohn's disease. It is a disease FULL of unpredictability. I never know when I will get sick. And when I do get sick I never know how bad it will be. Then there was the blood pressure issue. I have a hard time stabilizing it due, I think, to the amount of fluid my body has or hasn't on any given day. Lots of what ifs there. Then I spent a tremendous amount of time marketing which did not equal book sales, so I have to wonder about the quality of time I am spending online. Believe it or not I am an introvert so the computer works well for me. I think it is fair to say I became addicted to Facebook. I really only discovered FB about 3 years ago. Maybe 4 now. I found all my old friends because my discovery came after a high school reunion. I had so much fun reconnecting with everyone. I have decided to set some parameters for my overloaded brain. I will not call them resolutions because those I will break. These paramators are for my mental health. 1. I will limit my online computer time to one hour each day. 2. I will go back to the SCD diet and eat clean except for one cup of yogurt each night. 3. I will write for 2 hours everyday. 4. I will practice more mindfulness. These little changes will take time and I will tweak them as I go. If anyone wants to chat just message me through my website and I promise to get back to you ASAP. Wish me luck and have a happy new year. Comments are closed.
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