Lake Wildwood Widows Group: There is life after death. #widow #cancer #grief #griefrecovery

I call us the Lake Wildwood Widow's Club and I often think about writing a book including our very different stories. I promised them that when the time comes, I will change their names and they are good with that. 

Strangely, grief creates needs and wants very different from what you needed and wanted in a marriage. You crave the connection with other women who have been though the same experience. And although we all have different ways of experiencing grief, it so happens that pretty much what we all go through has bridges to connect us with other bridges that forge bonds with those we do not know. While grief is different it is still much the same. 

I didn't start to heal until I hooked up with other women going through the grief process. You learn you are not going crazy, though there are times when I still wonder, and most of all that while you are not going through the same thing at the same time, they have been where you are now. 

My first attempt was that first September a year ago when I went to a widow's luncheon. COVID happened and that was that. I hooked up again in July and we went to dinner and from there it morphed into the kayaking club and so on. 

Out of that experience, bonding became friendships, and there is much to say about friendship. I went to my class reunion where I connected with other friends I haven't seen for decades. While none of those experiences diminish my grief, it does add a dimension to my life I had been missing. 

It has been a difficult ride but I am glad I have had the experience of making and connecting with friends.  I was having a discussion the other day with an extended family member who asked me why I wasn't afraid of other people there being COVID and all. I reached way down inside myself to find my answer and I told her I can no longer live my life in fear. 

When you think about it, we all have a 100% expiration date. I cannot see sitting in my house staring at a television. In fact, I have developed a phobia about television. I told her the quickest way to do away with COVID was to turn off the television and live your life. And never ever watch the news. It's nothing but fear porn.

I keep a mask handy and carry my wipes. That is all the concession they will get out of me. And I really don't mind. The mask keeps me from touching my face and the gel keeps my hands germ free. I haven't had a cold or the Delta strain at all. Proof enough for me the mask works. I think they got the narrative wrong. Instead of telling people the mask blocks viral particles which is a lie, though it does help with coughing, the BIGGEST thing the mask does is to keep you from touching your face with virus riddled hands. How hard is that to understand? It's the truth. 

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