IT IS ABOUT LIVING WITH THE CHOICES WE'VE MADE AND CARVING A LIFE OUT OF THEM

1/25/2017

I was two weeks shy of my 16th birthday when our daughter was born. It was three years before Roe vs Wade but after confirming my pregnancy the OB assured my mother things could be done. Shortly after, I had my first Crohn's attack. When I saw my OB the next day he was quite upset. He told my mother it was a shame I hadn't lost the baby, but not to worry, things could still be done. They spoke to each other and never to me as if my opinions didn't count. I soon left home and thankfully a friend's family took me in until my mother agreed to let me have the baby. Back then I was told it wasn't my decision to make. That I wasn't old enough to know what was right for me. Perhaps that was true, but nevertheless Dennis and I were going to have a baby and raise it as our own.

After 46 years of marriage we are not sorry for the choices we made because they were the right choices for us. This does not mean it is the right choice for everyone. All choices should be respected just as all women should be respected. While I may be pro-life I am not anti-abortion. This is a choice that is made within each woman and no one has the right to tell her what to do with her body. I have friends that chose termination. That is their right and their choice and it should NEVER be taken from them.

I am writing this because our story is not everyone's story. It was hard to own up to the responsibility of raising a new life, but it would have been just as hard or harder to abort my pregnancy or give our baby up for adoption. There would be pain no matter the choice and that's what I want people to know. I also want people to know that my daughter's life has value. She has brought beauty, grace and love into this world.

As the world moves on, I want my granddaughter's to honor and cherish who they are and what they can do and to not rely on someone else to tell them what that may be. I also want them to know they are not nasty girls nor will they grow into nasty women. They do not need to wear pink pussy hats to show Donald Trump what's what. I would prefer them to educate themselves on the issues and to fight their fights using respect, decency and the rule of law. Protesting is our right but to demean ourselves as women by lowering ourselves to the adversary's level is ludicrous. We are better than that.

I found Madonna's words offensive. You do not need to strip naked or to put on pink hats or swear to make yourself heard. Not in today's world. I hated much of what I saw last Saturday because it degraded women instead of uplifting them. There were some speakers who spoke of inclusion and education and women's rights but most, sadly, did not. I can't help but wonder what they were trying to prove because I really don't know. If they were protesting an ignorant man's inappropriate talk about women they sold themselves short.

Choices are a part of life as is the way we speak and present ourselves. We can chose to be dignified or not and know that with choice comes power and pain. That is life. One choice is not better or worse than the other as it is all about perception. It is also about living with the choices we've made and carving a life out of them.

Sheryl Dunn link

1/26/2017 03:14:58 pm

Louann, I agree with you up to a point, in that when I protest, I try my best to do so with decorum and respect.

However, the pussy hats and other sarcastic/ironic/humorous methods of protest have been shown to be very effective, not only in getting the human rights message across to the people we're protesting against, but also to engage other protesters, to get them involved.

Because of this, I don't object to that tactic. I do object to hate messages from either side.

A couple of days ago I commented on the Maclean's magazines site about how, when we name-call and fail to treat each other with respect, we are creating divisiveness, and that leads to tyranny. Today, Maclean's Letters wrote me and asked if they could use my comment as a letter in their Letters to the Editor section. Whether or not it gets actually printed will depend on all the other letters they get, and, I suppose, the news of the day when the edition goes to print, but it was nice to be asked.

Louann

1/26/2017 03:46:00 pm

Hello my friend! Perhaps it would have been better to clarify that it makes me very uncomfortable explaining pussy hats and nasty women to my granddaughters. I find it degrading and would never want my girls to define themselves that way. Young girls need to see themselves far different than what they were exposed to on Saturday. Adults have formed opinions while children do not.

Kristine Grim

1/26/2017 09:08:54 pm

Thanks for your perspective. I am also disappointed that Madonna has become the flashpoint for a WORLDWIDE movement of over 4 million global citizens.
I am disappointed that our voices are being 'mansplained' and that those who marched for unity are being treated in a condescending manner. I am saddened that so many women are righteously judging other women for the way they chose to use their voice.
The march we attended was unifying and informative for my local region and state. It was positive and hopeful. As the days pass, I am more resolved in the importance of so many voices being heard about so many issues. I am proud to march in unity for the women who couldn't march or didn't know they needed to march.

1/27/2017 09:59:42 am

Did you take your daughter? If you did were you comfortable having her there? How did you explain the pussy hats and the nasty woman remarks? I'd like to know a positive way to present this material to my gkids so thanks in advance.

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