Day One of Crohn's Awareness Week #crohns #crohnsdisease #ibd

I was just 15. In the middle of the night I woke up deathly ill. The pain was so intense I screamed to go to the hospital. Once there, they hydrated me, gave me pain and antinausea drugs and sent me on my way. They said it was gastroenteritis and after that the bouts came yearly, sometimes more, always in the middle of the night. I was 32 when the big one hit. I lost 42 pounds in 8 weeks. I was in the middle of putting together a business with several partners and I was not going to share with them the constant diarrhea that took my weight. I have a very determined spirit and while the illness took its toll on my physical body it eventually affected my mental health. Anxiety and panic became my norm. Eventually the flare eased and I began to eat which helped my body and my mental health.

I morphed into yearly bouts of gastroenteritis and twice monthly attacks and then some of major diarrhea. I had convinced myself it was just irritable bowel and I was very content to stay there.

In my early 50s I got damn sick. Your brain does weird things when it is in denial. I refused to believe there was anything wrong with me. Seriously, how does one do that? The twice annual bouts came once a month then once a week then every day. The weight dropped off and the anxiety and panic attacks came back. Staying hydrated was a constant battle. 30 pounds later I was in my doctor's office. I had been bleeding for months. I said to the nurse that I had blood in my diarrhea. She opened the door and went after the other doctor. I could hear them in the hallway.

She has bloody diarrhea.

No! I shouted. I have blood in my diarrhea.

Funny how little things like that are important to you.

​I soon discovered my current gastro doc whom I treat badly because he cannot tell me I do not have Crohn's disease. He is very good on staying on top of things and he trusts me to be honest. And I try. I really do. BUT I am scared of going back on heavy duty drugs as I still have an infected right index finger that I have had for almost a year after Remicade.

​Currently, I am on a strict diet so I don't make my active disease worse. I am bound and determined to stick with it as it helps with diabetes too. Actually I had my yearly yesterday where I discovered I no longer have diabetes. That is entirely due to diet and common sense use of processed foods which I no longer eat. See? Common sense. Do not eat that crap. Tomorrow I will discuss the many medications I have taken for Crohn's disease and the rocky road to remission.

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