A Writer's Life Interrupted #crohns #ibd

Welcome back Crohn's. I had hoped you would never come back as hard as you did in the before remicade days. I have no idea why I believed that but I did. It is like childbirth. The serious pain goes away and you forget. You think the little bumps on the road like an allergic reaction that gives you a serious case of eczema is bad. Not even.

Weirdly, it started with a dream.

Silken sheets cradled me and I was oh so comfortable. Midnight black, deep purple, and gold surrounded me. I peeked my head out of the sheets and stared at a blue and white lightning ball. You know, the ones where electricity bounces from fingertip to fingertip.

The ball gave off an overwhelming sense of terror and in response my breath stopped. I tried to wake up and couldn't. I needed to run but my legs didn't work. I was trapped in a body that would not move. I don't want to do this again, I thought. Though,at the time, I didn't know what that meant.  Finally, I screamed as the pain hit my belly. Panic stricken, I woke up.

That was a week ago.

So not good having a creative mind with Crohn's disease.

I am running a fever but it is only 99 degrees. I have a headache, struggle to keep myself hydrated, and I have lost a few pounds. It is a nasty flare, but more than anything I hate the pain and right now I hurt so bad. I want to curl into a ball and escape this hell.

Next week I see the dermatologist to figure out the skin issue on my fingers. They look much better and don't hurt unless I knock them against something so that's a plus. But before I go back on the rat crack I need to know what I am dealing with so this doesn't happen again. Sepsis is damn scary and I do not need to experience it again. I keep telling myself just a few more days.

I have finished the illustrations for The Gathering of the Winds and my children's book should be on Amazon by the end of the week. This has been a fun project and the gkids are excited.

Thanks for reading everyone. Here's hoping for good health. :)