A Writer's Life Interrupted #crohns #autoimmunedisease

Coming to the realization that you can't do it all is not as bad as I thought.  After turning over family members to the one person who could really help them, I discovered it  was the best thing I could have done.  I sobbed myself to sleep last night, missing my husband while breathing in dog hair off the comforter because he hadn't been home to wash the bedding. At that moment, it occurred to me how much he does around the house leaving me to wonder if he knows how much I miss him. Not just for what he does, but for his companionship and love.

A beloved family member remains  ill and the prognosis isn't good, however in my opinion, there is always hope. Since my husband is the caregiver, I stepped in and volunteered my time to keep everyone informed even though I live three hours away away from the invalid and my husband hasn't a clue how to use a cell phone. 

It worked great until it didn't. Not that it was anyone's fault, but having to work, take care of myself which is a royal pain in the ass (no pun intended) I didn't have the energy to do it all. Yesterday, after a particularly stressful day,  I morphed into a heap of mashed potatoes that couldn't even make a decision. I had a rotten night's sleep and today, the only thing I want to do is eat fruit and sleep. My stomach hurts and I have a headache that rages so I've decided to go home, lock my doors, close my blinds, and turn off the phone and television.

Mostly, I just want to cry.

Life is hard. Crohn's makes life harder.

And that is all.

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