Last Thursday marked the four-year anniversary of my husband's passing. Like all days of remembrance, my grieving intensifies at the start of the month and eases significantly after the day, whether it's Christmas, a birthday, Thanksgiving, or any other occasion. I become irritable and disconnected. On the rare occasions I drink, I tend to act foolishly—laughing louder, dancing with more zeal, even among friends, doing anything to flee the darkness within me.

As usual, August began with me feeling cranky and desolate, seeking any outlet to alleviate my loneliness, often through physical activity. I write excessively, sometimes to the dismay of my publisher, for straying into topics I should avoid. I'm also fond of walking, preferring tranquility. Recently, I've been annoyed by the inappropriate jokes some men make. Honestly, I consider myself a lady, despite friends saying it's an outdated notion. But that's who I am, and those are my boundaries. If you wish to know me, skip the comments and simply ask how I'm doing.

Humor has its place, but respect is paramount.

Despite this, I do appreciate a good joke, leaving the risqué banter to my gay hairdresser—he's the exception.

Bradley, you're cherished.

Having caught up with my literary obligations, my mind is alarmingly unoccupied. To counter this, I've replaced my video sessions with pickleball.

*facepalm*

I attempted pickleball shortly after my husband's death, but it was too soon. I couldn't focus, my mind perpetually on him. The initial three years were incredibly tough.

I've improved, a sentiment I can express only because the anniversary has passed. A week earlier, my outlook would have been far less hopeful. Life does go on and you still have the daily struggles life brings you, but the head and the heart get clearer. 

What I have found to my dismay, is the lengths men will go to manipulate or even intimidate me or pick up on me. I mean who does this at our age? Following that statement, I will list a few things that have been said to me that I thought were inappropriate. These were all said by men. 

"Have you decided to date yet?" 
"No. Not yet." 
"Well, you'd better hurry up before it's too late."

OMG. You don't have a better pick-up line?

"Does your dog sleep with you?" 
"Yes." 
"Lucky dog." 

I chose to ignore him. 

"What did your husband do to allow you to retire comfortably?" 
"Excuse me? I mean, EXCUSE ME? What makes you think he supported ME?"

"Oh, I thought you were mousy little writer sitting in your room writing children's books." 
 Where do these people come from? My response, loudly, "I RAN MY OWN COMPANY. WRITING IS MY SECOND CAREER." 

Person opens topic of politics. I don't discuss politics. He says, "I see I will have to walk with you more often so I can educate you." 
*facepalm*

Second man, "I love the way you play hard to get." 
I am completely baffled. I don't know what to say so I reply, "I don't play hard to get. I'm a nice person." 
He says, "I didn't say you weren't nice." 

I call my thirteen-year-old granddaughter to find out what's going on here. She says, "Ask him what he means." 
I ask him. 
"I was only joking." 
"Okay."
My head wonders why he would even think that. The man is married!

We're walking and talking. I say, "I had this great dream last night."  Meaning to talk about one of my books. 
"Was it filled with men?" 
Again, I'm dumbfounded. I leave myself open to this stuff with absolutely no intention to do so. 

Here's another one. "I just love the chase." 
I shut down completely. The chase? What chase? When I hear the word chase, I think of my dog running after her toy. Again, I call my granddaughter. 
"Grandma, he thinks he's chasing you." 
My response, "What for?" 
She laughs. 

I met my husband when I was fourteen. I have absolutely no experience with men. Whenever this stuff happens, I ask my kids about what I should do or think or say. If they don't have the answer, I know the thirteen-year-old will. 

These are the things that keep life interesting. I cannot fathom that this man stuff still happens in this day and age. When I say I am baffled, I truly am. As my close friends will tell you, I do not understand sarcasm and I have no idea how to flirt. I did take a YouTube class on flirting, but it is over my head, and I felt like an idiot even though I do appreciate the art of flirting. I am too old to flirt. I am quite literal. I love to laugh, and I find joy in life as long as it is not around an anniversary. That is all anyone needs to know. I am kind. I am nice. I believe that there is so much pain and suffering in this universe already, that I refuse to add to it. That really is my core statement. So, if you flirt with me, you're just going to get a blank look in return. I don't process it. Just be kind. That's all I ask. 

#death #deathanddying #grief #flirting #menbaffleme

Reading to your children is a valuable activity that supports their development in numerous ways. Here are some important elements to consider:

1. Consistency: I know it's hard making time to read at bedtime. There's work and sports and sometimes it feels like you just want to put the kids to bed so you can breathe. From my perspective though, the time you have to read to your children flies by and once kids are older, they won't want to make time for you. You will look back and regret your choices so make reading a regular part of your daily routine. Consistent reading helps establish a habit and shows children that reading is an enjoyable and important activity.
2. Engagement: You are not just giving your kids or grandkids your time, you will bond with them. Encourage active participation. Ask questions, make predictions, and connect the story to your child's experiences. This interaction enhances comprehension and critical thinking skills, and the closeness you bring to their emotional well-being is invaluable. 
3. Variety: Offer a wide range of books. Include different genres, cultures, and topics to expose your child to diverse perspectives and ideas. Help them to see the beauty in the world by introducing them to life coming to know itself in a myriad of different ways. 
4. Expression: Use different voices, tones, and expressions to bring the story to life. This makes reading more fun and helps children understand the emotions and actions of the characters. Plus, it's fun. My husband had a voice for every bear in our kids' collections. 
5. Visuals: Choose books with engaging illustrations. Visuals help children understand the story better and keep them interested. Bright primary colors still continue to be the best way to captivate them. 
6. Comprehension: Discuss the story after reading. Ask your child to summarize, talk about their favorite parts, and discuss any lessons or morals. This is so important. If you cannot be with your kids on the playground, introduce them to topics they will confront so they know how to deal with the situation. 
7. Environment: Create a comfortable and distraction-free reading environment. A quiet, cozy space with good lighting can make reading more enjoyable. Most kids love snuggles and if yours doesn't for whatever reason, let them be in their safe place, but still read to them. It is astounding to see how much they pick up from you. 
8. Modeling: Show your own love for reading. Let your children see you reading for pleasure. This sets a positive example and reinforces the importance of reading. And not just reading on your computer or tablet. Let kids feel books. Let them hold them in their hands and let them see you hold them too. There is just something about curling up with a book that is so nice. 
9. Choice: Let your child choose books that interest them. This fosters a love of reading and ensures they are more engaged. But don't forget to introduce them to new topics too. Kids have an amazing collection of interests. See if you can foster that. 
10. Repetition: Don’t hesitate to read favorite books multiple times. Repetition helps with language development and memory. Plus, it develops security. They know what is going to happen, when, and how. That is good thing for them to know. It is also good for them to be open to change. 

Incorporating these elements into your reading routine can help foster a love of reading in your children and support their overall development. Developing children's emotional intelligence is just as important. Tackle the issue by expressing yourself through books so that children understand there are a variety of emotions to choose from.  Teach them not to fear their emotions, but to embrace them.

Emotions are the human way of coloring our existence and our experiences. 

It's fascinating how AI can bring our imaginations to life so vividly! The ability to translate detailed descriptions into visual art is truly magical. It is incredibly satisfying to see my ideas materialize exactly as I envision them, without any artistic interpretation altering my vision. 

The concept of asking AI to create a picture of itself is intriguing—it's like giving a face to the technology that helps us so much. Do you have any favorite types of AI-generated art, like cartoons or watercolors?

I do, and I'll add some of them to the post.

I find the entire concept fascinating, and while I do see the scary side, I think the benefits outweigh any negatives. I also realize that I am in the minority by far. 

Technology is simply amazing, but I am not sure, actually, I know I'm not ready for technology to be implanted into my brain. However, I might feel differently if I were paralyzed or deaf or blind. 

The future will be an amazing place if we can just figure out how to survive the insanity. I'm not quite sure that's possible at this point, but you never know.